Checking In

I truthfully didn’t realize how long it’s been since my last post. Looking back over the past twenty days, I’m a bit taken aback. I meant to stop and write a dozen different times and really have no excuses for not doing so. My evenings (which are relatively free) have been spent doing nothing more intense than sitting on the couch while I channel surf, for the most part. A few things have happened though.

  • I went to an interview with hospital B – they made a low offer, compared to hospital A. I told my acquaintance about it and he agreed that I’d be stupid to turn down hospital A. I’m slated to start orientation tomorrow.
  • I bought a scale, found out my actual weight for the first time in six months, and decided to try to make a lifestyle change. I joined Healthy Wage – a site that lets you bet X amount of money for X amount of months that you’ll lose X amount of weight . . . if you succeed, you’ll get a pay off, if not then you’re out the money you’ve put in. I’m betting putting in $25 a month for eight months with a weight loss goal of 50lbs. If I win, I”ll get a payoff of $770. I started last Sunday and I’m down 6.4lbs. I’ve walked a total of about 41,250 steps. I’ve upped my water intake and lowered my carb intake.
  • I was able to make it to the Flogging Molly concert Friday night and spent yesterday walking around Disney Springs with my other half. It was a great day for it and I actually ended up buying both my mom and my dad a Christmas present. My little sister sent back, “LMAO! You realize Christmas is like ten months away, right?” when I told her that, but I bought them both art and was worried it would be gone by the time Christmas rolled around. (Shout out to Nathan Szerdy – he’s a great artist and his site is – no I’m not being paid to shout out.)


My goals for today are pretty basic, seeing as I’m not feeling particularly well.

  • Clean the apartment.
    • Including laundry
    • And vacuuming
  • Choose an outfit for tomorrow.
    • Make sure I have all my “nurse” things.
    • Decide what scrubs to wear.
  • Pick up car payment money from sissy.
  • Visit with Harley at work on the way there.
  • Stop and get mommy some flowers just cause.


I passed the NCLEX-RN. I am now a registered nurse in the state of Florida.

To celebrate, I bought ice-cream from a local shop that’s basically heaven-on-earth as long as you’re not lactose intolerant and like ice-cream. My choice was peanut butter ice-cream with peanut butter cups and cheesecake pieces. Success was sweet, no doubt.

Now that I know I passed the NCLEX-RN, I’m finding myself more able to reflect on the test itself. Of course, upon pain of death, discussing test items is strictly prohibited. Honestly, I can’t say I actually remember any of the questions. I was so nervous, taking the exam, that it really does feel like a dream, in retrospect.

The test itself can have anywhere from 75 to 265 questions. Mine shut off at 75.

I knew that either meant I completely failed it or completely aced it.

Because I took the test on a Friday, I didn’t get my results until this afternoon. I paid about $8.00 to get them early, because I couldn’t stand waiting until tomorrow. After 48 hours of being certain I failed and wondering how I was going to study for a second attempt and being depressed over losing out on the offer for the oncology position I wanted . . . seeing the word PASS on my results page made me giggle maniacally.

Now, I’m having a celebratory beer and mac n’ cheese.

Mac n’ cheese is my favorite.

Tomorrow, I’ll create a proper post or maybe even two. Whist trying to kill time today, I completely cleared out and organized my closet/dresser. I donated a very large trash-bag worth of clothes. I think it would be fun to do a wardrobe based post and reflect back on it in six months or so, to see what’s changed and what hasn’t. Mainly, because I’ll be making enough to get more clothes and will – hopefully – lose enough weight to get back into some that don’t currently fit me.

Until then; however, I hope everyone enjoys the last hours of this Sunday night.

Sunday Morning Questions

I was up before the sun, but not before the birds.

As I stirred, my other rolled over and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Because, surely, something must be wrong in order for me to wake so early.

Today is Sunday, the only day I’m able to sleep in, this week.

“Can’t sleep,” I answered, stretching.

Time to make coffee.



I perform a few of the same actions every morning, no matter what day of the week it is.

Brush my teeth, use a face cleanser, open the blinds, start the coffee, put on the TV for some background noise, spend some time browsing FaceBook and Pinterest.

This morning, on Pinterest, I found a list of thirty one questions to ask yourself in January. They’re meant to be journal prompts or things to blog about, I believe. I don’t technically journal anymore, though I have on and off since I was very young. Now, I blog. Even though it’s almost the end of January, I thought I’d have some personal reflection time this morning.

I’m not religious, but I do appreciate the quiet stillness of Sunday morning. Soon enough, my other will wake up and I’ll have to begin being productive in a more typical sense.

In the interest of not creating a ridiculously long blog post, I’m going to select just five questions – one for each week of the month. The questions I pick out will be the ones I find the most pertinent to January and my life in general.




Question 1: What is your number one goal this year?

I have a lot of goals for this year, but they all hinge on one thing . . . money. I know, I know, money is the root of all evil and it can’t buy happiness and you can’t take it with you when you die. All those familiar expressions that get thrown around. Well, you know what? I don’t believe it. And my number one goal this year is to become financially stable. I want to have more than 0.02 cents in my saving account and I don’t want to have both my credit cards maxed out all of the time. I want to be able to order a coffee while I’m out, or buy a new pair of sneakers, or get real deli meat/cheese without freaking out.

Question 2: Can people change?

I was going to type, “Well, I certainly hope so,” but that’s not an honest statement. More accurate would be, “I know people can change, but I’m not sure if I can.” People around me tell me that I’ve changed drastically in the past eighteen months of nursing school. They say I’m more confident, more assertive, more poised . . . but I still feel like I’m faking those things. I’m terrified of making mistakes, still prefer to defer to others, and feel like I’m stumbling over myself more often than not. I think, really, the only thing that’s really changed is my reaction to those things. I try harder, now, to continue despite them. Instead of walking (or running) from a challenge, I’m more likely to approach it.

Question 3: What are you grateful for?

My sister – who is forever being patient and supportive. My other – who pushes me to believe that anything is possible. My parents – who raised me to be a free thinker. My boss – who let me continue working while in school. My coworkers – who provided encouragement and perspective during the school/work juggle.

Question 4: What are you looking for from life?

This question stymied me, so I ran a search with it in the field. Three main things came up – a sense of purpose, a relationship with God, and tacos.

I’m not convinced that we are all born with a specific purpose written somewhere in the codes of our DNA, I’m a self-proclaimed atheist, and I don’t particularly like tacos. That said, I do kinda see a common thread between those three things – yes, even the tacos. Finding a sense of purpose, building/maintaining a relationship (with anyone/thing/idea), and eating the perfect taco all seem to lend themselves towards a sense of fulfillment – psychological, emotional, or physical. I can get behind that idea.

I’m looking to find fulfillment during my lifetime. Peace, happiness, success. Too much to ask, probably, but definitely a worthy goal to strive towards, I suppose.

Question 5: What did you get done?

There’s no time-frame associated with this question, but I’m gonna stick to the past week.

I scheduled my first interview for a nursing position, in the oncology department of a large hospital. I completed all of my NCLEX study guide questions. I went grocery shopping and didn’t forget anything on my list. I made it through my first Renaissance Fair without suffering from an anxiety attack. I created a Pinterest board dedicated to clothes, so that I’ll have something to present to my next Stitch Fix stylist. I interviewed someone for a position in the office and encouraged my manager to hire her. I scheduled an appointment to have my taxes done. I made sure my other/myself ate well.


All in all, not too shabby.

And, conveniently, he’s now awake.

Time to embark on the rest of the day’s stuff!




A chemical mixture of excitement, fear, and determination that creates – within the individual – a sense of superlative vitality and inexhaustible optimism. Manifestations may include pacing, excessive smiling, chills, and increased productivity. Potential for paradoxical depression or panic once the primary effects wear off.


I’ve been gaming again, lately, since I’ve had some sense of “free-time” now that I’m out of school. I wrote the above on a scrap of paper up at work. I was trying to quantify what I was feeling and it ended up coming out sounding like something I’d read in the game I played most recent (FF12 Zodiac Age, for those curious). That said, I do like the sound of it and it did reflect what I was feeling, so in that I was successful.

I got my approval from the Florida Board of Nursing to sit for the NCLEX. I’m going to be taking it on February 9th. That means I have just eighteen days to study for it.

That sense of free-time I had . . . it was an illusion, I’ve decided. Now, it really needs to be back to the books in order to make sure I’m ready for this – very expensive – test. Without passing this test, the 18 months and $26,000 I spent on nursing school will be for naught. Everyone around me is confident that I’ll pass this test, but I don’t want to let their confidence be an excuse not to be as prepared as possible for it . . . .

In the vast cyber-halls of the inter-web, there exists many tips and tricks for passing the NCLEX. It’s a thing that almost every nurse practicing in the country has done, after all. There are endless words of wisdom, recommendations, and tactics available. In most large book stores, even, there is a section dedicated to NCLEX study guides, flashcards, and practice tests. I purchased one of the study guides and I am finding it helpful, but I’ve only actually perused about half of it and taken just one of the four practice tests.

Three practice tests left . . . eighteen days to study . . . I’ll take one test every six days?

Of course, that’s not counting doing practice questions. I intend to start doing 50 practice questions a day. Maybe not all in a block, because time is tight for me during the week, but at least in chunks. Several of my classmates were able to test already and at least five I know passed using that sort of a strategy.


Last time I posted, I included a to-do list. I only checked about half the list off, but I’m going to go ahead and create another list just for today.

  • Tidy up – last night’s dishes, make the bed, wipe down surfaces.
  • Study – create lab value and acronym flashcards.
  • Update planner – use stickers, mark important dates, check things off.
  • Enjoy sister time – have lunch together, game a little, have her quiz me.
  • Other things – submit another hospital application, send a thank-you note, do abs.

Thus far, I already did update my planner. I wrote down my NCLEX date, a couple of concert dates, and I used up some stickers I’d been saving for no real reason.


It’s still early and I’m a bit sleepy, but I am ambitious. I’ll finish the Monster energy drink I got last night, put on some music (my favorite mix of rock and alternative), and spend the next hour cleaning up before my sister comes over to spend the day with me.



Today is not yesterday.

Yesterday was definitely a Monday.

First thing I saw on my FaceBook feed was a cutesy post that read: It’s Monday . . . but it’s okay. I was unconvinced and my day did little to nothing to change that. My boss was running late, it seemed like every customer I spoke to was angry, my times sucked, and I ended up going to bed at eight without doing any of the things on my to-do list.

That said, I got up this morning feeling well-rested. My alarm goes off at 6:00 so that I can do my bathroom routine before my other gets up and does his. I packed his lunch. I even Googled 30-Day Ab Challenges (don’t judge me), picked one out, and did three sets, because one felt like not enough.

(Total count was 45 crunches, 45 hip raises, 15 leg raises, and 30 seconds of planking.)

I did last night’s dishes. I made the bed. Once I finish this post, I’ll take out the trash. Kaye, my co-worker who I carpool with, is also trying to lose weight. Once we get to the office, we’ll do a lap around the block before we go in. Little things, but still things.

I have several pieces of scrap paper, from work, that I’ve been scribbling blog ideas on. None really captured me this morning, so this is just ending up being a rambled little free-write session. I’m hoping that today is a better day than yesterday was. I have the aforementioned to-do list that I feel is looming over me at present. It’s not really terribly long, but the things on it have just been sitting on it for weeks, it seems.

Here it is, since I’m writing.

  • Change the shower curtain liner to one that’s not all grimy.
  • Finish putting away the laundry – because I always procrastinate.
  • Organize my dresser/closet to make room for the scrubs I was gifted this weekend.
  • Make and pack a healthy lunch for today, instead of the collection of snacks I took yesterday – bologna lunchable, three cookies n’ cream snack bites, confetti cake.
  • Create a blog post and put it up (this doesn’t count, because it’s so random).
  • Clean the bathroom – wipe down the counter/sink, get the hair dye off the floor, empty that trash can, and organize the cabinets.
  • Study at least two hours for NCLEX.

My goal is to make a follow-up post tonight to see how many things I’ve been able to check off the list. That said, my ride is due in about an hour and I’m hungry.

Breakfast calls, then . . . the rest.



Starting Over, Once Again

I love blank pages.

I love hitting the “new game” button.

I love the pause before the next song starts.


Except, you know . . . when I don’t.

Mornings when getting out of bed takes an act of congress.

Times when I’m too afraid to begin typing, because I can’t follow my own plot.


Last year was an uphill climb. I thought that New Year’s Day was the summit. I was wrong. Now, nine days later, I understand that I actually just made it to the mountain.

That said . . . it was still a pretty long year. I did accomplish something major, too – even though I abandoned my new year’s resolutions less than halfway through the year.

I graduated from college with an Associates Degree in Nursing. In – hopefully – just a month or so, I’ll be taking the state board exam (NCLEX) and getting a grown-up job in an actual career field. In six months (or less), I’ll start my bachelor’s program. In a year and a half, I’ll graduate from that and add teaching clinical part-time to my income. By the time I’m thirty (three and a half years), I’ll have my masters and be doing I-don’t-know-what. It all seems so structured and so easy.

But, right now, I’m still wearing my pajamas. I haven’t finished my first cup of coffee. I haven’t washed my breakfast dishes. I’m watching Buzz Feed videos on YouTube in a never-ending loop of 30-day workout challenges, decorating hacks, and food porn.

I have to leave for work in about fifteen minutes. In a couple of months, I’ll be a Registered Nurse. Right now, I’m still working in a call center and asking people to please rate their experience on a scale of 1-10. I’m keeping my typing speed up and skills up, not by writing research papers or a best-selling novel, but by typing out customer complaints and proof-reading my newest co-worker’s interviews.




16/52 – Adversity&Determination

If the road is easy, chances are you’re going to wrong way. – Terry Goodkind

The road I’m currently on certainly isn’t an easy one. I feel like I keep stumbling over my own feet and walking right into spider webs. And I forgot to bring snacks!

Last Friday morning, I signed into my health insurance portal with the intent of making a payment to bring my account up to speed,  because I’d fallen a month behind. Once I signed in; however, I was greeted with a little message stating that I could not make an online payment due to a change in my account status. Well, that was unexpected. I did some snooping around in my account and discovered that my coverage was canceled as of March 31st of this year. Erm . . . what?

Immediately, I checked my bank history and saw the payments I’d been making.

Dismayed, I called the customer service number only to be told that the office wasn’t open until nine. Okay, that’s the same time I start work, but I’ll just take a long lunch and get this issue sorted out and my health insurance reinstated, because I can prove I’ve been making the payments, despite being a month behind. There’s such a thing as grace.

Lunch time, call in, speak to a very nice young man who places me on a brief hold and returns sounding genuinely sorry for me. “I’m sorry, ma’am. The cancellation wasn’t in error. You haven’t made the minimum required monthly payments at all this year.” He explained that I’d been paying roughly $90 a month, which was my bill amount last year, but my minimum payment had increased to roughly $91 at the start of the year.

I have no idea how I didn’t know that. I explained to him that I never received notice of paying the wrong amount and always just got emailed receipts that thanked me for paying. He couldn’t do anything else, though, except let me know that my $90 from April and May would be sent back to me via check within the next ten business days. He also transferred me to a not-so-nice woman who put in a ticket for a special enrollment period for me in an attempt to get it reinstated on the basis of my confusion over the total due. It will be thirty days before I know the outcome of that.

My first instinct was just to call it quits and curl into a little ball of self pity.

But I took a deep breath and took a step back and asked myself . . . what can I do?

Not in a sarcastic way, not in a self-defeating way, not as a throwaway, but really.

And I came up with a few options. All of which were better than nothing. I actually made a plan of action. Determined how I was going to handle this situation now that I was in it, instead of spending time dwelling on the problem itself. I looked for the solution.

First, I’m going to deposit the refunded money into my savings account. I’m going to add to that the amount that I’d planned to pay when I originally signed in. In thirty days, if my health insurance does not get reinstated, I will continue to deposit the $90 dollars I would have put towards it into my savings account, instead. I will not let it turn into Starbucks coffees or Redbox movie rentals or day trips to Daytona. I’ll have about $810 in savings at the end of the year, from putting my “health insurance” bill into it.

If my hasty research into the matter is correct, then that will be more than I need to cover the tax penalty I would be charged for not having insurance for nine months. If, that is, I actually get charged the tax penalty, which I may not. My income has dropped drastically, since I started school. I may qualify for hardship status. In either case – fine or no fine – I am prepared for the situation. If I don’t get fined, then I’ll be starting the new year with more in savings than I’ve ever had.

  • I won’t continue to pay my health insurance bill into my saving account after December, even though taxes are filed later than that, because I’ll get insurance again during open enrollment at the end of the year.

The true downside, of course, is that I won’t have health insurance during the next six months, if it doesn’t get reinstated. That sucks, for a couple of reasons. I have asthma and keep an emergency inhaler on hand for . . . well . . . emergencies. I have about a third of my current one left, which will last me – maybe – the next three months or so. I also; however, have two daily use inhalers saved from when I went to the doctor and he prescribed them. I don’t like taking them, which I know isn’t good, but if I do start taking them as I’m supposed to, they should be enough to keep my lungs and bronchi in good shape for the next three months, which saves my emergency inhaler for the last three months. I also have access to a nebulizer and albuterol, if needed.

I won’t die, essentially, from not having health insurance. Indeed, from the age of eighteen to twenty-four I did not have health insurance. I managed. Not always comfortably, but always adequately.

The other downside, the one I’m really upset about, is that if the insurance isn’t reinstated at the end of thirty days, I will have to confess to Him that I messed up and lost it. He isn’t going to be happy, because he will be concerned for my health. I will, at least, have a plan to present to him. I think he will appreciate that and the fact that I was able to think things through and not just freak out.

A few months ago, this situation would have derailed me for weeks. There would have been tears and panic and eventually acceptance, but no real solution formed. Now, I can deal with this bear in the middle of the road without losing my head. I’ll skirt around it and be more vigilant in the future. I won’t get eaten by it.

Adversity is defined as difficulties or misfortune. Determine is a firmness of purpose, or resolve. I may face other adversity during the next six months as I continue along my Road to Elsewhere, but I am determined that I will make it to the end of the road.

At which time, I’m sure there will be other roads to explore.


10/52 – Aspirations & Fears

Aspiration: A hope or ambition of achieving something.

Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something is likely a threat.


The other day one of my classmates, Twinlee, said, “Oh my god. You should just type mine up, too. You’ve got the words!” This was in reference to a small group project we were working on making a PowerPoint for during some down time in lab.

I was startled into admitting something that hasn’t come up yet. “I like to write.”

That’s something of an understatement. I’ve been writing short stories since the first grade. Have, actually, written three novels of more than 150 pages – two of which were part of a truly awful series that I did when I was about fourteen. The third was, I think, pretty okay. It was my NaNoWriMo novel four years ago. At present, I have two novel ideas that are tumbling around in the back of my mind.

I’ve always thought of it as both a good and a bad thing that I don’t ever have to search for an idea. Truth be told, sitting here, I’ve actually got closer to a dozen potential story/novel ideas, but only two are developed enough to be considered, practically speaking.

At Twinlee’s probing, I admitted as much as the above, and confessed something else. “Part of the reason I decided to go into nursing,” I let her know, “is due to the fact that I could work three twelve hour shifts, and then go home and write for four solid days, if I want.” She was, I think, both impressed and bemused.

It’s true though. When I was a kid, I expected to grow up to be a photo journalist, because I like to write, take pictures, and travel. As I got older, that somehow turned into something that I felt was impractical. It’s not that anyone ever told me, “You can’t do that.” It just . . . became a non-option, along the way.

My aspiration, I suppose you could say, is still to become a novelist. I don’t even let myself dream of real success, most of the time, but it’s fun to imagine seeing one of my novels on a bookshelf. Maybe even to daydream about seeing someone wander over to it and pick up while I stand there, pretending not to notice.

Of course, I don’t really think a person can have an aspiration without experiencing some parallel fear. Not only of failure, necessarily, but of the sheer possibility of success.

People fail all the time. It’s not unexpected. There are protocols, procedures, and policies in place to help people deal with failing. We have so many expressions and saying relating to failure that it’s not really something scary, in and of itself, at least not at a core level, for me.

“Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up.”

The prospect of accomplishing something successfully is, realistically, more scary to me than failing is, because I’m not sure what would come next. Fear of the unknown is the biggest fear I have, and failing isn’t something that’s unknown . . . success is.


I haven’t written much since starting school, aside from homework and this blog, because I’ve been trying to narrow my focus to becoming a nurse . . . which is, honestly, an aspiration in itself. I’ll have two weeks off though, starting on the sixteenth and I keep thinking about trying to pound out a rough draft, at least, in that time.

A rough draft in two weeks would seem like a tall order, except the one I mean to write is one that I’ve had in my mind for years and it’s so ready to be written that it’ll feel just like typing out the outline of a movie I’ve watched a million and one times.

Of course, I don’t really know what I’d do with the draft once I finished it. I’ve never actually gone through the process of revising one. Now that I’m thinking about it, working to revise the school assignments I’ve done isn’t that dissimilar. Well, aside from the fact that the school assignments aren’t more than ten pages long . . .


Also, as an end to this post, which was sort of off on a tangent, and as a follow-up to the post earlier today, I didn’t end up getting naked. He came home from work early, we had lunch . . . and then there was sex, but I got to keep most of my clothes on. Compromise exists, even in dynamics with heavy M/s connotations.


6/52 – Clear Credit Cards

I waited longer than some people I know to get a credit card. In fact, I didn’t get my first until the beginning of last year, when I was twenty-four. I didn’t exactly do it through a conventional route, either. I opened a second bank account in order to get a secured card through that bank (which is a national chain, versus my usual state credit union that I use as my primary account and that I’ve banked with since I was seventeen).

That card has a limit of $300. Since it’s secured, I can raise it pretty much at will – up to $1,000 – but I haven’t felt the need to do so. My other card, I got just four months ago and it also has a $300 limit. This past Christmas, I nearly maxed both of those cards out, for the first time. It made me nervous, having them both full, so the first thing I did with my tax return was pay both of them off again.

The other money went straight to my SO, to make up for my portion of the bills, since I’ve been so slammed with school that I’m down to working just 20 hours a week.

I expected to feel relieved once the cards were paid off, and I do. I also feel somewhat accomplished, even though one of the cards has a regular bill paid with it every month and will get hit another $50 within the next couple of weeks.

I did not expect to feel so much temptation.

For instance, I badly want to purchase a new desk. A “big girl desk” that will replace the one that I’ve had for six years. The age of my current desk isn’t really my problem (even though it’s showing in some chipped and peeling paint). My problem is that the desk is simply too small to accommodate all of the stuff that has come with nursing school. At present, the binders I use on a daily basis live on the ottoman, along with my two clipboards, drug guide, backpack, and various office supplies.

My desk is at capacity with just my computer monitor, a lamp, and two letter trays on it.

It’s more of a writing desk that I have forced to be a computer desk, really.

The desk I have my eye on is currently on sale for $289 at Staples. It’s an L-shaped desk which is an instant upgrade, but it also has a hutch built in with ample storage for all of my office supplies, my school books, and even my SO’s desk clutter – bills, keys, ect.

I didn’t expect to want to put something on the credit card that would max it out right away and I’m struggling with the urge to get the desk now. The dilemma of it being on sale versus the fact that I just paid off the card is making me go in circles, trying to decide the smart course of action. Really, I know what that is . . . keep what I’ve got and don’t use what’s meant to be an emergency card on what is clearly not an emergency situation.

Adulting is hard, sometimes. Trying to balance wants and needs.

The desk is a want, clearly. Having the card available for emergencies is a need, clearly.

In eight more months, I will graduate and I will hopefully get a job that will pay me almost double what I make now. And then I will be able to afford to get a new desk, if I still want/need a new desk. Patience. It’s a virtue, apparently.



As someone who usually likes to keep things neat – if not, precisely, organized – I was alarmed to realize that it’s somehow already the 22nd of January. I’ve been marking off days in my planner, but I’m only writing down my assignments the Sunday of the week they’re due and it’s created a strange sense of time being on a standstill. I’m literally looking at my days as a series of tasks, rather than a compilation of hours, and it seems surreal that it’s already just a few days before February.

(Speaking of which, I am one of those strange people who doesn’t mind seeing all the Valentine’s day stuff already in stock at my local Wal-Mart. Why? Because I absolutely adore giant stuffed animals. Seeing them always cheers me up and I have high hopes of getting one from Him this year. Plus, I like chocolate. And Valentine’s day is second only to Hall-o-Ween in terms of yummy chocolate goodness being available in bulk.)

I digress . . .

I’d intended to write weekly, this year, but I’m slightly behind on that. Still, I’m considering this 2/52 and as long as I make it to 52/52 posts by the end of the year, I’ll consider myself successful. I also have managed to stick $5 into my saving account from each paycheck. Granted, this only brings me to a measly $30 in savings (literally), but it’s still progress. My bills are all paid or on track to be paid on time as well . . . which I’m impressed by, because I’ve only worked a total of about 40 hours so far this month.

Ah. The demands of nursing school. I am a part of my graduating class’s Facebook group. It’s a convenient way to keep in touch with my classmates about what assignments we’re working on, who’s in which group for projects, and the occasional bit of humor.

Two things on the page made me laugh, this week.

The first was one of the e-cards that keep popping up. It showed a cartoon nurse and read, “I don’t post on Facebook when I eat dessert, because it didn’t happen, if it’s not documented.” The second was a picture of some male celebrity (Ryan Reynolds, maybe?) looked both skeptical and uncomfortable. It was captioned, “When people ask my why I chose nursing . . . It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

The first one made me laugh, because all of the instructors are stressing the importance of documenting – our actions, our findings, our plans. We’re told to keep in mind that not documenting can lead to medical errors and patient endangerment and the loss of our licence. Which, ten months and several thousand dollars into the program, is one of our biggest fears, because it makes it all for naught, in the end.

The second one made me laugh, because it’s so brutally true. I can think back and remember all of my reasons for deciding to choose nursing. The money, flexible hours, having a friend in the program, the money, the job prospects, the benefits, the money . . . and, of course, getting to help people in a tangible way. Now, after three quarters and a lot of stress, it’s easy to lose track of why it is I’m actually putting myself through this madness and mayhem. As others noted on the post . . . it feels like we’re drowning and we’ve lost sight of the island paradise we were initially swimming towards.

There’s a few reasons for that. The stress of having two lectures, two labs, and two clinical portions . . . and all the associated homework, exams, and hands on experiences. Trying to still find time to work enough hours to make ends meet. Needing to also arrange time for all the “other” stuff – sleep, meals, family, blogging. Twenty-four hours doesn’t seem like enough time to fit in everything.

Even now, as I type, it’s ten in the morning and I’ve already finished two online quizzes, written in my assignments for the week, and had “breakfast” (a can of Vienna sausages and half a tube of Principles – don’t judge me). I still need to get a lot of other stuff done though. Which means . . . it’s time for . . . a list!

To Do List for 1.22.17

  • Write a two page paper about patient safety using three peer reviewed articles, an approved organization, and APA formatting.
  • Clean the apartment – at least do dishes, take out trash, and tidy up in general.
  • Make lunch for he and I . . . probably pasta salad.
  • Return our latest Redbox rental movie.
  • Print out flashcards for my Pharmacology exam.
  • Make flashcards for my Fundamentals exam.
  • Study both sets of said flashcards.
  • Make sure my school uniform is clean and pressed, and pack for clinical.

It doesn’t seem so daunting, like that. Which is good. Inaccurate, but good.