I was up before the sun, but not before the birds.
As I stirred, my other rolled over and asked, “What’s wrong?”
Because, surely, something must be wrong in order for me to wake so early.
Today is Sunday, the only day I’m able to sleep in, this week.
“Can’t sleep,” I answered, stretching.
Time to make coffee.
I perform a few of the same actions every morning, no matter what day of the week it is.
Brush my teeth, use a face cleanser, open the blinds, start the coffee, put on the TV for some background noise, spend some time browsing FaceBook and Pinterest.
This morning, on Pinterest, I found a list of thirty one questions to ask yourself in January. They’re meant to be journal prompts or things to blog about, I believe. I don’t technically journal anymore, though I have on and off since I was very young. Now, I blog. Even though it’s almost the end of January, I thought I’d have some personal reflection time this morning.
I’m not religious, but I do appreciate the quiet stillness of Sunday morning. Soon enough, my other will wake up and I’ll have to begin being productive in a more typical sense.
In the interest of not creating a ridiculously long blog post, I’m going to select just five questions – one for each week of the month. The questions I pick out will be the ones I find the most pertinent to January and my life in general.
Question 1: What is your number one goal this year?
I have a lot of goals for this year, but they all hinge on one thing . . . money. I know, I know, money is the root of all evil and it can’t buy happiness and you can’t take it with you when you die. All those familiar expressions that get thrown around. Well, you know what? I don’t believe it. And my number one goal this year is to become financially stable. I want to have more than 0.02 cents in my saving account and I don’t want to have both my credit cards maxed out all of the time. I want to be able to order a coffee while I’m out, or buy a new pair of sneakers, or get real deli meat/cheese without freaking out.
Question 2: Can people change?
I was going to type, “Well, I certainly hope so,” but that’s not an honest statement. More accurate would be, “I know people can change, but I’m not sure if I can.” People around me tell me that I’ve changed drastically in the past eighteen months of nursing school. They say I’m more confident, more assertive, more poised . . . but I still feel like I’m faking those things. I’m terrified of making mistakes, still prefer to defer to others, and feel like I’m stumbling over myself more often than not. I think, really, the only thing that’s really changed is my reaction to those things. I try harder, now, to continue despite them. Instead of walking (or running) from a challenge, I’m more likely to approach it.
Question 3: What are you grateful for?
My sister – who is forever being patient and supportive. My other – who pushes me to believe that anything is possible. My parents – who raised me to be a free thinker. My boss – who let me continue working while in school. My coworkers – who provided encouragement and perspective during the school/work juggle.
Question 4: What are you looking for from life?
This question stymied me, so I ran a search with it in the field. Three main things came up – a sense of purpose, a relationship with God, and tacos.
I’m not convinced that we are all born with a specific purpose written somewhere in the codes of our DNA, I’m a self-proclaimed atheist, and I don’t particularly like tacos. That said, I do kinda see a common thread between those three things – yes, even the tacos. Finding a sense of purpose, building/maintaining a relationship (with anyone/thing/idea), and eating the perfect taco all seem to lend themselves towards a sense of fulfillment – psychological, emotional, or physical. I can get behind that idea.
I’m looking to find fulfillment during my lifetime. Peace, happiness, success. Too much to ask, probably, but definitely a worthy goal to strive towards, I suppose.
Question 5: What did you get done?
There’s no time-frame associated with this question, but I’m gonna stick to the past week.
I scheduled my first interview for a nursing position, in the oncology department of a large hospital. I completed all of my NCLEX study guide questions. I went grocery shopping and didn’t forget anything on my list. I made it through my first Renaissance Fair without suffering from an anxiety attack. I created a Pinterest board dedicated to clothes, so that I’ll have something to present to my next Stitch Fix stylist. I interviewed someone for a position in the office and encouraged my manager to hire her. I scheduled an appointment to have my taxes done. I made sure my other/myself ate well.
All in all, not too shabby.
And, conveniently, he’s now awake.
Time to embark on the rest of the day’s stuff!